Dear Parents of music students,
I write this, not to shame you, chastise you or give you more work to do. I write this to encourage you, help you understand your role and help to hopefully bring more success to your child’s musical endeavors.
 You see, I can share this from 3 different perspectives. I am a parent. Both my 17 and 14 year old daughters are very musical. They have been since they were little. Obviously, I am a teacher. And I see from week to week the improvement that comes when practice happens and the stagnation that comes when practice does not happen. But also, I was a student. I can speak clearly to practicing because I hated practicing. Yet, I’m a musician and a music educator. How did that happen? My mother.
The View from a Student
 When I was younger, I had a natural aptitude and connection with music. It all came easy to me. And because of that, I developed some very bad habits of laziness. I wanted to get my practice time over and done with, so I could move on to the “fun things”. I didn’t expect the best of myself and my music. Good enough was good enough for me. But my mom? Well, she knew I was capable. More than capable. She knew I could do anything that I set my mind to. So she made me practice. Every night after dinner, I had to practice while she washed the dishes. It was on my weekly chore chart. It was an expectation that practice happened daily. On piano, as I picked up the trumpet in 5th grade, as I moved from piano to the organ in 8th grade.
The View from a Parent
 As a parent of musical children, it is hard to get them to practice. The reality is that no one really likes practice. It’s work. I tried to teach my oldest piano when she was 4. It was an abject failure. She thought she was having daddy time and wouldn’t listen. So we paid others to teach both of my girls. For my oldest, she played piano for a couple of years and then we moved on. Why? Piano wasn’t really her thing. Singing was. But she had an excellent musical foundation from her piano lessons. And she’s sung in choirs, solos, musicals, you name it. It isn’t hard to make her practice singing. Why? Well, she loves it. She’s passionate about it. But one interesting thing happened a couple of years ago. She taught herself ukulele. It’s not hard. It’s an instrument with only 4 strings and it’s small. I had a cheap one that someone had given me years ago, she asked if she could try to play and it and I said yes. She took to it and now writes songs and accompanies herself on the ukulele.
 For my younger daughter, we’ve bounced around on instruments. Piano, to guitar to percussion. All while singing as well. But for her, lessons early on were a bit of a challenge. She enjoyed piano lessons, but didn’t want to practice. She enjoyed the social part of guitar lessons, not so much on the practicing. And singing lessons were tough. Part of it was because she didn’t really want to listen. But when we landed on percussion, we unlocked the mystery! In 6th grade she started band and would regularly practice, with some fighting, but overall, she did great. She got to the point that in her 8th grade year, she had to choose between being in the top band or the top choir, since they had the same class period. She chose choir. But now, going into high school, she’s excited about marching band and is already working on her music for the fall.
 As you can see, two different children, two different experiences. It’s a matter of finding what best connects with them. I grew up with parents with rigid and high expectations of me. My wife and I have high expectations of my girls, but we’re going to encourage them gently and give them every opportunity to enjoy and love music, not force them to do it, which could lead to burning themselves out.
A View From a Teacher
Now to the teacher hat. Practice is necessary for growth and improvement. There are similarities to sports when it comes to music lessons, and there are plenty of differences. 30 minutes, or 45 or 60 minutes in a lesson is excellent for students to learn. You could think of that as a sports team practice. But if there’s nothing done outside of that, will the skills of the individual player improve? More than likely not. Or, as I had shared with me at my music teachers’ conference last week, students don’t just learn math for 30 minutes a week and have no follow up until the next week. It’s all about repetition and reinforcement.
Why Music Matters
Yes, practice is important. And I know you’re busy. We’re all busy. How do you make time to practice? This is the ultimate question parents regularly ask. How much practice? I respond with 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. That’s impossible. But here’s my honest answer. Something is better than nothing. 5 minutes is better than 0 minutes. 10 minutes is better than 5 minutes. And so on. My encouragement to you is to strive for something daily. It could be 5 minutes one day, 15 the next, 3 the next, and 8 the next. That’s an average of almost 8 minutes a day. Which will bring improvement. More time will lead to even more improvement. But to me, the starting place is with something. You’re helping them build habits that will last them a lifetime.
The next question I get is what should they practice? For my students and parents, I have tools to help them focus in on different parts in the music that challenge the student. Because that’s what practicing is. Working on the hard spots and getting them down, not really playing the whole thing through from beginning to end 5 times or whatever number is decided on. At my conference last week, I was reminded that parents are extremely important to practice. Not just making them practice sometimes, but giving feedback. Now, you may not consider yourself a musician, but over time, you’ll learn what to listen for, if there’s stumbles or things just don’t sound right. Back to when my mom made me practice, her usual comment from the kitchen was, “that seems fast” or “that doesn’t sound right”. Another idea is that they could teach you! There’s lots of ways and ideas to help with practicing. Which is fantastic, because hopefully at least one will click with the student and they’ll start taking off!
Here’s the ultimate thing. Music is important. Not just because it is good to listen to and an understanding of how music works and the language of music informs listeners to have a deeper understanding of it. I could go on for a while about the physical benefits of making music. I could go on even more about the mental benefits of making music. There’s plenty of those things. But to me, one of the greatest things about learning music is that it makes the learner a better person. What do I mean? When we learn music, we connect to the story told in the notes and rhythms, the attacks and releases. And we become moved by the music. Which makes us more emotionally connected. Which hopefully brings about more empathy and care, making us think about our place in the world around us. And speaking of that, music transports us to different places, different time periods and even more. It creates character, focus, discipline and so much more! And all of it starts with one word. Practice.
A Challenge for This Week
 Parents, you can do this. This week, start with 3 days. Set aside 5 minutes to start. Set a timer and encourage practice. Sit with them and be their audience. Cheer for them, encourage them, and tell them what you liked about their music. Next week, move to 4 days, as your schedule allows. You’ll see the growth start to happen, and it will not only increase the full value of your financial and time investment in music, It will help your child grow, and you may grow as well!